


What is, and what would never be

by Remlundskan



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Challenge Yourself 2021, Damn this show for killing off my sweet boy Theon, Damn this show for not making Sandor and Sansa a thing, F/M, Fandoms_Challenge 2021, Protective Sandor Clegane, Sansa Stark is Queen in the North, Theon Greyjoy & Sansa Stark Friendship, What-If, what might have been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remlundskan/pseuds/Remlundskan
Summary: Week 3: Write for a fandom you read, but never write forThe Queen in the North never married.The two men she might have chosen were both dead.This is just Sansa dreaming about the men in her life, what her life might have been like, what choices she would have made.
Relationships: Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: Fandoms Challenge 2021





	What is, and what would never be

The Queen in the North never married. She had plenty of suitors; great lords, bold princes, men from every corner of the world would request her hand in marriage. They would ask her directly, they would sent messengers with all sorts of gifts, there were even those that went as far as to send ravens to Kings Landing, to ask her brother, but Bran the Broken, knowing his sister (knowing just about everything about Everything, really), simply informed them that he had no say in the matter.

For years, they would ask her, and for years, she would turn them down. She had no interest in marriage, or any kind of romantic relationship with any man.

Even her most trusted advisors would come to her, ever so carefully suggesting this lord or that, reminding her of the importance of producing an heir to keep the Stark family name going for generations, making sure that, as both her mother and her father had told her as a young child, there would always be a Stark at Winterfell. But Sansa, stubbornly, had refused.

She had no interest in choosing a husband.

The two men she might have chosen were both dead.

She sometimes dreamed of them, dreams where her heart got a glimpse of what her life would have been like. Dreams of the changes in her life and what she might have done differently.

She dreamed of Theon. They had discussed it, ever so lightly, the night before the big battle. A union of House Stark and House Greyjoy, it would be favorable for them both. Sansa had no desire to take a man to her bed, and Theon was unable to father children and had no such interests regarding her. It would be a relationship between two close friends, who deeply cherished and respected one another, who would never harm or hurt or violate each other in any way. 

”If we make it”, she'd said, ”if we survive and if we defeat the Night King...We should get married.”

In his eyes, she could see his every thought, as he considered her proposal. And then, as he had reached his decision, he had taken her hand, ever so gently, and promised her, right then and there, what she already knew. 

”From this day until my last day!”

It would have been the perfect match. Theon knew her in a way that no one did, understodd the pain and the trauma that she had suffered at the hands of Ramsey,, because he had suffered through the pain and the trauma of being Ramsey's prisoner as well. And yes, there was a time where he had betrayed her whole family, had taken her home by force and claimed to have burned her two little brothers to death. There was a time where he went behind Robb's back, the man he had loved like a brother, in a desperate attempt to please his father. 

But that was a long time ago, and he had paid dearly for that betrayal, had taken the torture and the mutilation and actually came back from it, a changed man.A better man! She admired that man. She would have been glad to call him 'husband'. Proud, even.

Theon Greyjoy-King in the North. The dream would show her what a good king he would be, honorable and kind. The dream showed herself smiling at him, as they dealt with the matters of the kingdom together, as equals. The dream also showed her children, playing, running through the halls of Winterfell, net her own, and still so dear to her heart. She never found out where these children had come from, but in the dreams, she loved them with every part of her being.

From this day until my last day.

When the battle was over, he was dead. Like a hero, he had charged the Night King, to protect her brother, and he had paid for his bravery with his life. Bran had told her about what had happened. 

She had mourned him, honored him, the man who had been her friend, her brother, and her ally.

It was always a pleasant dream, and she always woke from such dreams with a sad smile on her beautiful face.

\-----

She knew, without a shadow of a doubt that if she had been forced to stay with Ramsey, she would have, eventually, been broken completely, body and spirit, and she would have ended her life, as certain as the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening. Either she would have ended it herself, or Ramsey would have done it, just as soon as she had given him a son. When she did dream of him, she saw him tied to a chair, screaming as he was being ripped apart, eaten alive by his ravenous dogs. Only this time, instead of leaving him behind, she stayed for the whole thing, watching the beasts tear him open, not being able to draw breath until she was absolutely sure that he was gone from her life.

\-----

It was difficult to say what her life would have been like if she had stayed with Tyrion. The man was Hand of the King, and he had never mistreated her during the brief time they were married. He had suggested it, actually, half in jest, but she could tell, even as he asked, that he wasn't being sincere. He was a good man, and she had no ill thoughts towards him, but he belonged to her past. They were friends, or on friendly terms, at least, but her visits to Kings Landing were few and far apart, and the same could be said about his travels to the North. Some things were better left as thhey were; her marriage to Tyrion Lannister was one such thing.

\-----

Sometimes, she dreamed of Sandor. Of how her life might have been, had she followed him that night so many years ago. She had been so silly back then, nothing more than a spoiled little girl who dreamed about marrying a handsome prince, who had turned out to be a real monster. She had been a little bird and if she had gone with him, she would have stayed that way. He would have treated her like a little bird. He would have treated her with respect, of that, she had no doubt, and she would want for nothing.

If anything, he would have been brutally honest with her about the ways of the world, and he would give his life to protect her from it. He was willing to turn his back on his king and save her life, and she had turned him down, like the scared little girl she was. Had she gone with him, no one would have married her off to Tyrion Lannister. No one would have sold her to Ramsey Bolton. Her innocence would have been kept, her virginity intakt and no one would inflict pain and torture upon her until she wept for mercy.

The world had not been kind to Sandor Clegane, she knew that, and when she had first seen him, he had scared her. His face had scared her, his manners, everything about him. And yet, in spite of that, in spite of everything, there was something about him that made her feel... safe. Protected. And, to be perfectly honest, his facial deformaty didn't really bother her. It wasn't his fault that he looked that way. In her dreams, she could admit to herself that the reason he scared her, was because he awoke something deep within her, something she refused to acknowledge, something she did not rekognize that made her heart beat faster when she saw him. She had been too young to understand it, back then. Too inexperinced when it came to such things.

A life with him would have been a life of adventure, of constant danger and excitement. She had no dout that he would ask nothing of her that she wasn't willing to give, but she knew herself well enough to know that a life on the run, a life with a man like the Hound...

She would eventually be willing to give him everything.

He would be hers and she would be his, in front of all the gods, the old and the new and no man would be more gentle with her. You would not think it to look at him, but he had a gentle soul, a fractured soul, yes, but she would be by his side, and do her outmost to mend it. And when she was ready, and willing, he would make her a woman. He would take her the way a man should take a virgin, he wouldn never bruise her, or violate her, or rip her wedding gown to shreds, push her down on the bed and break her spirit with every thrust...

Sandor would love her! And she would love him, with both heart and soul. She would give him sons and daughters, and she would take him into her arms and lose herself completely under his touch. It would be a rootless life, a life on the run, for most of the time, but she would endure all of it, to be with him. It would be enough.

He was dead now, too. Long gone. Arya had told her about what happened, had told her about traveling with Sandor, about all the things she had learned from him... Sansa had remained silent, listening to her little sister telling her about this beast of a man, and how much he meant to Arya, how she would have followed him right to the end, how he saved her life, more times than he knew, how he died, taking his brother with him, finally getting the revenge he had sought for so many years.

Dreams about Sandow would usually leave her breathless, she would wake up from such dreams with a rapidly beating heart, her legs slightly spread. Dreaming of Sandor would bring out the woman in her.

Both of them dead. Both of them long gone. And so, Sansa Stark would never take a husband, would never seek out a lover, and saw no reason to change that.

Until the day came when a man showed up at Winterfell and performed the most unexpected of miracles, something neither one of all the men in her life had ever been able to do... 

He made the Queen fall in love, for the very first time.


End file.
